quinta-feira, 21 de fevereiro de 2013


Today I am going to write in English (oh, come on, for those who are already thinking that I am being pretentious on trying to show that I know English.....let me tell you all: you should know it, too! Or go back to school...lazy bastards!) and I am going to write in English because some of my foreign friends asked me to. (But for you to feel better: No, I do not know German nor Chinese, and no, not even Russian. And...errrr... how much is 4734 plus 22409 / 34840 ? No, I do not know that either, and I would need 5 hours to solve it or.....a calculator :D )

And I am going to write about love. This strange but also simple concept called 'love'.
Uh, so original, innit? ..Well, yes it is. Even if you think it is not.

I think there is a finite list of ways of loving. But even being finite, there is a list... I don't believe in just one way of loving.
There is Friendship, there is Brotherhood, there is Motherhood and Fatherhood, there is 'Animalhood' (I just made this one up..), there is the 'Universal Love' (which I describe as being the joy you take from things, actions, activities or random people that cross your life: the meal you cook with pleasure, the paint you observe attentively, the neighbour that you don't see often but you respect, the bird that sings on that tree 'over there' and you enjoy listening to, etc..). and then there is the Romantic Love.. (If I am forgetting something, tell me).
And we all would say that there are differences between all these ways of loving. And obviously, we are right, there are. But they don't need to be necessarily so different after all, just the way of showing it and living is different, but love is.. love.

Some loves are easier to live and to deal with. Friendship, for example, is probably the easiest one. You can have friends who you consider, deeply, being your friends and to whom you give a honest friendship, too. But it is easy, isn't it?
You don't need to be with your friends all the time. You don't need to justify your actions all the time. You don't even need to support them financially (..what a relief!). And you don't feel jealous if they are going on a date with someone (..you even feel happy for them!). And more important: you can have more friends, there is no exclusivity!
They will not stop being your friends, even if you see them once per month or even if you forgot to say where you were going on certain day. They won't stop being your friends because you like Tarantino and they don't... and you won't stop being their friend because they like to listen to Rihanna and you don't. (..I mean.. if someone stops being your friend because you like Rihanna, that's a waste of time of yours if you keep feeding that friendship).

Then we have Brotherhood. The level of worrying increases.
- "Where are you going?"
- "Are you sure you can drive in that state?"
- "Oh, please, text me when you arrive safe!"
Not that I don't do this with my friends, but, I am sorry... I will always get more worried with my brother..
But okay, you will also let your brother do whatever he wants...
- "I just want you to be happy BUT be safe (or I will kill you myself if you don't)".
Your friends and you brother (or sister, if you have one..) can leave to Australia and you will miss them madly, but you will always feel happy for them if they are happy there. And you feel very excited with their monthly emails. You don't ask much more than that.

Then we have Motherhood and Fatherhood. I don't have children, but I can imagine how it is.
Yes, you can also leave to Australia or to the Phi Phi Islands and they will feel happy for you if you are doing well there, but be prepared to receive five calls per day and unexpectedly money on your account that you didn't even ask for.
- "I am so worried! Are you starving?? I am sure you are!!! You are a baby, a forty years old person but, still, a baby!"
- "Are you sleeping properly?"
-"Are you having sex with random nasty people?"
Well, there is a slight possession on all this, I guess, though I think it is probably the most genuine and unconditional love ever... but yes, there is some kind of possessiveness and also pretentiousness in this behavior:
- "I told you so... I know better! Without me you wouldn't be a thing!".

Then, 'Animal's Love'. Do I really need to speak about this? They don't feed you, they don't take you for a walk, they don't even talk with you because they don't talk. They don't earn money. They don't do the dishes. They do not do "a point of a horn" (portuguese expression translated literally).
But for some strange reason you feel hugely grateful when they wag their tails to you because you do all this to them. I would even say that this is one of the most altruistic love ever. Someone who gives the best life ever to his pets (and listen, I do not consider giving a good life to a pet if you buy him cloths and stuff they DO NOT need and actually hate), is definitely a very good person, because what we receive in return is exactly just that: wagging tails and tong kisses. And no matter how depressed you are, you will still go for a walk with them three times per day.. and they will wag their tails forever. And no, they wil never leave you, never. But they won't know when it's your birthday either.

The Romantic Love is the pain in the arse of the story. The villain. The bad guy.
Yes, you do love that person (your boyfriend or girlfriend), yes, you do want that person to be happy and to improve and to smile and to be perfect. But you want all that for you, too, because if she/he leaves you to live that 'happiness' with somebody else... you go mad, right?
When the love is real, I am sure that you will end up accepting it and you won't revenge nor do anything bad... and you will keep, inside your heart, that person as a very good memory, no matter how much it hurts your ego. But Romantic Love always comes with a certain concept called "exclusivity" and another one called "possessiveness" and even another one called "jealousy". Which is a pain, I have to admit. But I also have to admit that if you don't feel any of this towards your lover, you are not in love at all.
But isn't this also love? Some call it passion, some would call it obsession... but it is just another way of loving, I guess. It is when we start thinking about ourselves and planning things for the future. And we always feel the need of having someone by our side to do it. So, maybe, passion is exactly that: the love for ourselves that we finally found out that we had and we start willing to have someone by our side to cross 'all the rivers of life' with us. And not less than that. And so, there are loads of conditions... but if you do not disrespect those conditions, you will probably live the best moments of your life (it is not that hard, anyway... if you are really in love).
And in the day we are really old and we will know we don't have much time to live anymore, I am sure that we won't even think about that girl/boy that your girlfriend/boyfriend cheated on you with, we will rescue just the good things we shared together.
So...love is love...
But, I need to say something more: I really really love my dogs! Sorry, mate...

Cheers to Love, to all the kinds.


3 comentários:

  1. My vote goes to animal love because it's inconditional!When you are possessive and jealous I think you feel more love for yourself than for your "love",I call that egoist love.It's a great and fun text Ana,cheers!

  2. Long live the love whatever it is!